A Spring without you
by mohd98
Summary: A Sequel to the story: "Let's go on a Journey". Kousei thought his journey with Kaori has come to end after she passed away. But, his life still has some colors and he sees things and himself clearer so he realizes his journey hasn't ended it yet and inherits Kaori's way of living to continue the journey the two started with their friends.
1. Goodbye, Kaori

**Author's Note: Hello everyone, thanks for reading. "Your Lie in April" is such an amazing story. Personally, I like the ending. Although it's a bittersweet one, but I think it's perfect. I want to do my best making a fan-ficition-sequel. I will try to make more chapters. I have some ideas o how I want the story to go like making Kousei x Tsubaki. BUT, Reviews will really make me happy and I will appreciate them. I hope that you tell me your opinion on the story & how I can make it better from now on. Thanks again and I hope that you Enjoy!**

Kousei met Kaori under full-boomed cherry blossoms and his fate begun to change. **"Taking on a challenge and creating something is painful but fulfilling".** The time Kousei spent with Kaori was a mixture of happiness, pain, learning and of course LOVE. She just wanted to spend her last days with him, but she ended up changing him & making him a better person.

One of things that Kousei has learned after meeting Kaori is to say goodbye. The death of Kousei's mother destroyed the young Kousei. It was a tragedy. But, one has to heal, to move on and to say goodbye when the time comes. With the help of Kaori and his friends, Kousei started healing and said goodbye to his mother after being controlled by his mother's ghost which was created by his mind out of fear as an excuse to escape from playing the piano.

When the two lovers met for the last time, they both knew that this is probably the last time. When Kousei started thinking: "I can't do it anymore. The people I care about keep leaving me. I'm going to be left all alone". Kaori said: "But YOU HAVE ME". It was like she knew what exactly he was thinking and picked the words perfectly. Her words supported him and his presence supported her. She invited him to struggle with her: "We're so good at struggling". It was as if her words were also saying: "Don't let the shortage of time ruin this moment. Let's enjoy our time till the very end. Let's struggle together. We have each other". When her words weren't enough, she stood up and played on an imaginary violin. It's a miracle and a way of communication beyond description. The sound of her violin was saying: "You can do it, Kousei. I'm sorry. Thank you. Good-bye". These were the words Kousei was able to hear from her short but magical performance.  
"What is she apologizing for? Why is she thanking me?", Thought Kousei.  
There was also a strong feeling that he got from her performance.  
"What is this feeling? I have felt it before? Is it...? No..No... There is no way", thought Kousei.  
His thoughts changed when she revealed that she was scared and cried and asked him not to leave her all alone, he felt how strong she was. Although she was the one who was leaving, she was scared of HIM leaving HER, not the other way around. Hugging the crying Kaori in the snow, and although there might be hope, Kousei knew this is goodbye. With her music, she gave him her farewell. He too needs to do the same. He has to make sure that his music reaches her so that he too can say goodbye, live to her expectations and to support her till the very end. In his way. In their way. The way of musicans.

At the competition, he played for everyone but most importantly for her. He hoped that his music would reach. As Kousei was approaching the end, he saw his notes flying towards the sky and when he finished playing he said Goodbye with tears flowing on his cheeks.  
He felt that his music and farewell reached her and till this day he wonders if they did.

Days have passed since Kaori's passed away. It was very difficult for Kousei. Kaori, the girl who he met in Spring, changed his life both alive and dead! When he read her letter, too many feelings were flowing inside of him. He was sad she died but happy that maybe he was able to make her happy in her last days and that she loved him. He was also sad that he didn't get the chance the to thank her for everything she had done for him. The letter left Kousei going back and forth between emotions. He understood what she meant by her performance, what she was apologizing for although she didn't have to, what she was thanking him for although he is the one who should be thanking her. He also knew what the feeling was. It was LOVE.

It's very painful to lose someone you care about, Someone you love. Kousei isn't destroyed like when he lost his mother because this time, he said goodbye properly. But since Kousei has experienced a new kind of love with Kaori, he is experiencing a new kind of pain too.  
Kousei's friends are there for him to support him through his and their difficult times.

Kousei wakes up in one of the days after Kaori's death.

Kousei: I thought that colors from my life will disappear if Kaori dies. I don't know why, but my life is still colorful. I'd be lying if I said that it's as colorful as when she was alive. But the fact…  
*Kousei puts his hand on his heart*

 **"Was I able to live inside your heart?"**

Hearing these words in his mind in her angelic voice brought a smile to his face as an answer to Kaori's question.

 **"You exist inside me, Arima Kousei".**

Kousei: Yoo too.

*Kousei's phone rings*

Kousei: Oh, It's Tsubaki.

*Picks up*

Kousei: Hello.

Tsubaki angrily: YOU MISSED TODAY'S CLASS TOO, DUMMY KOUSEI.

Kousei: Eeeeehhh, Did I? Sorry, I think I overslept.

Tsubaki: That's not an excuse, you know?!

Kousei in embarasssment: Hehe

Tsubaki: Don't forget to come at least to cheer for me in my match today. It's after an hour.

Kousei: O..Okay.

Tsuabki: Goodbye.

Kousei: See ya.

*Hangs up*

Dealing with Tsubaki lately has been strange for Kousei. He knows she loves him. He feels sorry for not noticing that earlier, and for also making her feel pain seeing him with Kaori. At the same time, she said that she will stay with me forever. She feels Kousei's pain for losing Kaori and she doesn't want me to be alone. But despite all that, Tsubaki is dealing with Kousei normally. As if he knows nothing. What could be on her mind?

Kousei with a sad smile: I'm afraid that she feels both pain because for not requiting her love & feels that she has to help me to relieve my pain. It's double pain for her. I feel ashamed of myself. What should I do?!

 **"Please tell Tsubaki-chan that I'm sorry. I'm just someone who's passing through,who'll be gone… After all, she was in love with you. We all knew that. I think the only people who didn't know were you and her".**

Kousei wonderingly: Why did Kaori tell me this? Was it only to explain her lie? Or Does she...?  
*Kousei looks at the clock*  
Kousei: Damn it, I better get ready. If I miss Tsubaki's match, she is gonna kill me.

*Change in the scene*

Teammate yelling: It's up to you now, Tsubaki. If you hit it we win.

Tsubaki: I know that.

Then she whispers to herself angirly: Ahh, Kousei you didn't show up.

But them Kousei comes runnign and says while breathing strongly: I made it, Tsubaaaaakiiiii, you got this.

Tsubaki: Huh? Kousei?

Teammate yealling: Tsubaki, concentrate!

Tsubaki: Yeah.

The ball is thrown and it's closing in on Tsubaki, it's like a scene from a movie when everything is slowed down. Tsubaki hits the ball. The echo of the sound the of the ball getting hit by the bat fills the place and after one second of silence, Tsubaki's team is celebrating and Tsubaki starts running.

Tsubaki goes to Kousei after the match and hits his leg as usual.

Kousei: Ouuuchhh, what was that for?

Tsubaki: For being late.

Kousei laughingly: Well, I guess I deserve that.

Tsuabaki smiling: But, when I think about it again, we won after you came. Maybe you gave us good luck, hehe.

Kousei smiling: You think so?

*Tsubaki's face reddens*

Kousei: Well, I knew that, I'm a good luck grabber after all.

And they both laughed and slowly the laughing stopped and there was nothing but silence between the two.

 ** _TO BE CONTINUED_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. This chapter two. I hope that you enjoy. Make sure to follow to know when I update it and please review to help me improve the story and my style and thanks.**

Tsubaki broke the silence by changing the subject and saying: How are you these days, Kousei?  
He replied: Fine, I think.  
Tsubaki: You think?  
Kousei looked down on the ground.  
With a small smile, Tsubaki said: You are looking down again!  
Her words made his eyes widen. Tsubaki said the same words Kaori used to say.  
Kousei's stare at Tsubaki made her blush and both of them looked at the other side in embarrassment.  
Tsubaki sighed saying: Look, Kousei, it's okay to be sad sometimes. It's okay to cry. But, you can't stay like that forever. Especially, that you have people who care about you. If you stay like that for a long time, you are going to make us worry. I told you that before, I'm going to say it again, you are not alone. If you want to say something, I'll be happy to hear.

Tsubaki's words brought tears to Kousei's Eyes and he nodded with smile: Uhhm, Uhhm.  
Kousei thinks to himself: I don't know why? But my heart, is starting to play a melody. It's like her words were what I needed to hear.  
Tsubaki: So, is there what you want to talk about.  
Kousei: I…I don't have anything on my mind right now. But, I'm very glad that you are my friend, thank you.  
Kousei's words made Tsubaki's heart race from happiness but at the same time she thought to herself: I wish I was more.

But Watari's voice calling for them cut the thoughts of the two friends: Heeeeeeeeey, Kousei and Tsubaki. Come here.  
Kousei: Okaaaaaaay.  
Tsubaki looked at Watari who was not that far away with a funny but angry face expression which made Kousei laugh as he walks with her towards Watari.

Watari: I heard that your team won, Tsubaki, congratulations.  
Tsubaki: Haha, thanks.  
Watari: And you, Kousei, you seem happy, don't you?  
Kousei: It's..ahhhmm…I'm just happy that we are together. It's been a while.  
Watari: Yeah, It sure has been. Why don't we go and grab something to eat. You must be hungry, Tsubaki, especially after the match.  
Tsubaki: No, I'm not.  
But Tsubaki's stomach sound couldn't lie. Which made the three friends laugh.

They bought food from a restaurant talked and ate in a garden happily. Tsubaki got a call from her mother so she apologized saying: Thanks, I had a great time. My mom needs me so I gotta go. See you guys later. Bye  
The two friends: Bye-Bye.

Watari: Damn, Tsubaki eats a lot.  
Kousei while trying not laugh: If she hears you, she is going to kill you.  
Watari: If you tell her, I'm telling her that you laughed.  
Kousei: But..But I didn't.  
Watari: Yes, you did.  
They started laughing as after a few times of saying: yes, no, yes, no.  
Their laughs became quieter and quieter until they ended.

The sky was beautiful and they relaxed on the ground facing the stars.  
 **"Twinkle Twinkle little stars, how I wonder what you are"**. Kousei started singing in unison with Kaori's voice which he hears. Watari smiled and almost laughed but he sang with him.  
Watari: What was that out of the blue?  
Kousei with a smile: Me and Kaori sang it together once.  
Watari : So, it's a happy memory?  
Kousei: Yes, one I'll never forget.  
Watari: I think I will never forget her too.

"Please apologize to Watari for me… though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now"  
Kousei: So, it appears you haven't forgot a girl for the first time!  
Watari laughed and said: Well, a girl like Kaori, is special. Too special, actually. Too special to forget. Too special to love a guy like me.  
Kousei: What do you mean?  
Watari: Uhmmm, I mean were good friends and everything but she didn't like me.

Watari's words started to astonish Kousei.  
Kousei: And how do you know that?

Watari: C'mon, I have known so many girls who like me. I'm handsome after all.  
I can tell if a girl likes me or not. Kaori's eyes were sparkling. I knew she was in love with someone and this someone wasn't me.  
Kousei: When did you know?  
Watari: I think pretty early. But I didn't know why would she tell such lie. Not until I knew who she likes.  
Kousei: Who does she like?  
Watari laughed, stared at Kousei and said: So, you wanna play dumb now? We both know who she was in love with.  
Remember when I told you: _"It's only natural for the girl you're crushing on to be in love with someone else. Since you're in love with her, she sparkles in your eyes"?_  
Apparently, I was wrong.

Kousei's smiled in amazement.  
Watari: I was angry at first, to be honest. But when I thought twice about Kaori's reasons. I think I knew it. It was because of Tsubaki. She knew she was crazy about you and thus didn't want to be someone to steal you from her.  
For Kaori to do that means that she just wanted to become closer to you at any cost.  
It means she was so in love with you. I totally understand that now and back then so I played along with her lie.  
I hope you two were able to feel each other's love

 **"Arima Kousei-kun, I love you, I love you, I love you"**  
Kousei wasn't able to reply to Watari's words as he remembered Kaori's words.  
He was about to cry but he managed to hold his tears.  
After sometime of silence Kousei said: there is something I wanted to tell you.  
Watari started to anticipate what Kousei has to say.  
Kousei: Kaori left me a letter.  
Watari: A letter!  
Kousei: Yes, she left a letter for me. She explained her lie. Everything you said was totally right.  
Watari: Why would you tell me this if the letter was for you?  
Kousei: Well, she asked me to apologize to you for her.

As Watari heard Kousei's word, tears started flowing from his eyes on his cheeks: I already forgave you, Kaori.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello there, thanks for reading. I'm really excited to write new chapters and continue this story. The more I write, the more clear the story becomes for me. And I think I have some good ideas to make this story -hopefully- a good one. Please, be sure to follow the story to know when I post the next chapter and help me by writing reviews to let me know your opinion and how to improve the story and I will definitely read them. Thanks again.  
**

The talk of the two friends (Kousei and Watari) continued until it became late and each one returned to his home after having a happy day.  
but there was something that Kousei couldn't get out of his mind:  
Watari: It was the first time for me to lose a friend. I think It's the first time for you too, isn't it, Kousei? It made me think about how we should care about those who are around us, support and help them become better versions of themselves. We have to do out best to make others' lives colorful. We should do what we want to do before it's too late, so we don't regret it later. They say it's never too late. Well, yeah, it works like that most of the time. But sometimes, you're too little to late.

 **"** **I'll play with all I've got so the people who came to listen won't forget about me. So that I will live in their hearts forever".  
** Watari's words made Kousei remember Kaori's.

Kousei thought to himself at home: It wasn't just her breathtaking way of playing music that allowed her to live inside others' hearts, it was because of KAORI herself, her way of living and doing things.

 **"Care about those who are around us"**? **"Support and help them"**?.  
I don't know when Watari became this wise!

It was like Watari was describing the effect Kaori had on Kousei's life and how she lived in her last days. Kaori was the one who changed him. Her lights reached Kousei who was at the bottom of the dark ocean. She extended her hand to grab him and thanks to her he was saved. But there are others who helped him too. After breaking free from his mother's ghost, Kousei was able to see himself and remember the past more clearly, after remembering only almost bad memories which caused him just more pain.

Kousei thought: It wasn't just Kaori, was it?

Kousei kept remembering other people. Just like when he did while performing Chopin Ballade No. 1 in G minor, Op 23 on the 18th of February in the competition.  
 **"The people who made my life fuller"**  
But there is one person who he would never forget when talking about "Support": Tsubaki.  
She has always been beside him. Sharing his happiness and sadness then and now. Sharing even pain! The more he thinks back, the more he realizes how she too played an important role in his life. To the point he doesn't remember not knowing her or not having her next to him.  
He remembered that time when she lost the match and he gave a piggyback ride and told her: **"I can't just let you carry me on your shoulders forever"**.

Kousei sighed and said: Apparently, I let her carry me again. I have made her worry too much about me. I'm such a terrible friend, aren't I? It's my turn to be the one helping and supporting her.

These thoughts made him happy. Once again, his heart played a melody.  
Kousei smiled as he thought: I'm just grateful to her.

And his thoughts became less and less until he slept.

He woke in the morning of the next day.  
Kousei said in a sleepy voice as he look towards the clock: Uugghhhh, so I woke up early today.

He did all the morning stuff, wore his school uniform and left for school.  
Today is a busy day for him. He has to catch up with his class in terms of studying and he has a piano lesson with Hiroko Seto.  
Since it was early, Kousei decided to walk to the school. Kosuei was surprised when he found Tsubaki walking a few meters in front of him.

Kousei was worrried and thought: What should I do know? Call her name? Say Good Morning?  
Why am I thinking about this too much. It's just normal me in a normal day going to the normal school taking the normal path and meeting his normal friend.

Kousei was surprised when he heard Tsubaki call for him: Kouseeeeeeeeei!

Did she feel him? Did she hear his footsteps? Kousei didn't know but he walked a little quicker to catch up with Tsubaki who stopped to wait for him.

Tsubaki smiled and said: Good morning.  
Kousei: G..good morning. You look happy today.  
Tsubaki laughed: I'm just surprised that you woke up early.

Tsubaki was happy to see Kosuei back to his routine.

Kousei: hehe, if I miss too many classes I won't be able to catch up.  
Tsubaki: You reminded me! I have made you a copy of the notes and homework from the classes in the past few days. I'm going to give it you when we get to school.

Kousei felt a ashamed of himself and thought: Not again, she is the one helping me again.  
and said with a smile: Thank you, Tsuabki.

But his voice had sadness in it. Tsubaki noticed that and said: Is there something bothering you?  
Kousei: N..No, Nothing.  
Tsubaki: Nothing? I know you better than this. You forget too quickly, don't you. What did I tell you yesterday?

"If you want to say something, I'll be happy to hear".  
Kousei remembered her words and after a period of silence and hesitation, he decided to tell her: Well, you…  
Tsubaki in a surprised voice: Me?  
Kousei: N-No, no, don't get me wrong. It's just that... I feel that you have been helping me a lot lately and it's like I'm a burden.  
Tsubaki took a deep breath: Is that all?  
Kousei: Huh?  
Tsubaki: You scared me there, Kousei! Don't worry about it. That's what friends are for, for helping each other, right?

Kousei smiled after hearing that. Once again, her words comfort him.

Tsubaki: And plus, if I'm not the one to help you with classes, who will?  
Watari? You know that when it comes to studying, this guy is hopeless.  
Kousei: Hmmmm, I guess you're right.

And the two friends laughed. They continued chatting while walking until they reached the school. A few classes passed and it's the activities period time. Usually, during this period, Tsubaki plays Softball while Kousei goes to the music room to read music sheets and play on the piano. Every activities period, Tsubaki wishes that Kousei would play the piano. If he does, she would be able to hear him, since the pitch is near the music room. But today, Kousei didn't play!  
Kousei decided that to talk a walk in the school. He noticed that Tsubaki is playing her favorite game so, he decided to just stand there and watch her.  
Tsubaki didn't notice him since she was occupied with her game and Kousei was far behind her at the corner of the pitch.

Kashiwagi told Tsubaki: How is your relation with Kousei now?  
Tsubaki flustered and replied: W-What do you mean?  
Kashiwagi: You told me that your told him your feelings, right?  
Tsubaki put her bat on the ground strongly and said: Did I really tell you that? Damn it! I'm talkitive.  
Kashiwagi laughed: Yeah, you tell me everything. So….  
Tsubaki: Well, I didn't… I mean… I did tell him but indirectly!  
Kashiwagi: What does that even mean?  
Tsubaki: Uhm… You can say I told him.  
Kashiwagi: So he didn't understand?  
Tsubaki: I-I don't know.  
Kashiwagi: So, what are you going to do?  
Tsubaki: Are you asking me what to do? Mrs. Love expert!  
Kashiwagi smiled: I think you should tell him proberly and directly.  
Tsuabki blushed as she said: No… N-No No no no.  
Kashiwagi said jokingly: I can tell for you if you want.  
Tsubaki eyes were on fire and said in a scary tone: I'd kill you if you do!

Tsubaki's voice and look scared Kashiwagi and said: Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

The two friends continued playing a little bit until Tsubaki stopped and sat on the bench.

Kashiwagi as she was approaching Tsuabki: Why did you stop?

Tsubaki didn't respond. So Kashiwagi knew something is wrong. She started worrying about her friend and regretted talking with her about Kousei.

Kashiwagi as she sat next to her friend: What is it, Tsubaki?  
Tsubaki faked a smile and said: Haha, you know me, I can't play if I'm thinking.

Kashiwagi looked at her and didn't ask her about what she is thinking about. She didn't want to make things worse. But then she had another thought that if she helps Tsubaki say what is inside her, she will make her feel better so she decided to ask her but Tsubaki started talking before Kashiwagi had the chance to talk.

Tsubaki: You know, It doesn't matter if he knows that I have feelings for him anymore. Actually, I don't want him to know.  
Kashiwagi: Why?  
Tsubaki: I wanted Kousei to start seeing me as a girl. And I think I managed to do that. After that, I can't force him to love me. I mean, we all of course love each other as friends but I can't ask him to have feelings for me.

Kashiwagi's eyes started to widen and then Tsubaki continued: Kousei lost the person he loved. He was a complete mess after Kaori passed away. Barely coming out of his house, Waking up late, skipping classes.

Tsubaki's tone changed to a low but happy tone as she smiled and said: But, today he woke up early! I was afraid he will stay like that for a long time. It looks like he is back to normal.

Tsubaki's tone changed again to an even lower bad sad tone: But, I can't help but think what is it that he is feeling on the inside? Is he in pain? Is he crying?

I told him before that I will stay beside him forever. I want to help him. I really do. But I feel that being next to him isn't enough. I just do the petty things for him.

Tsubaki stopped talking for a moment to take a deep breath. She tried to hold her tears but she couldn't. Kashiwagi felt terrible after seeing her tears and hugged her friend. She didn't know that Tsubaki had more to say.

Tsubaki: But, if I can't help him heal his pain, I can't make it worse for him. This is why I can't ask him to have feelings for me and I don't want him anymore to know that I have feelings for him.

Tsubaki took once more deep breath and said: If I we're friends, If I'm beside, If he he is happy then so am I. And I will continue trying to help him.

She turned to her friend with a big smile on her face. But this smile is a real one.  
It was a mixture of pain and happiness at the same time!

Kashiwagi really admired Tsubaki. Tsubaki's words moved her so much that she was about to cry and said: You really are a good friend, Tsubaki.

Tsuabki: Awwwww, thank you. You too. If you hadn't given me your advice, my time wouldn't have started flowing. I would have regretted many things. So thank you.

Kashiwagi didn't know that her advice had that big effect on her friend. She felt happy for her so she smiled.

Kousei who was far away was watching this. But he was far enough to not hear what the two were saying or to see her tears. But one thing he knew, that she is not okay and something is wrong. So he decided to go and ask her.

Kashiwagi heard footsteps coming from her right and turned to find him.  
Kashiwagi thought to herself: Is this a miracle or something?

She gently nudged her friend's shoulder to make her notice the approaching Kousei.

Tsubaki looked to her friend to be surprised by Kousei who welcomed the two girls: Hi!

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
